OK, wow, i guess I'm not keeping this as up to date as i wanted to. lol. well, I guess I should do some updating. Well, for starters, I'm dating a girl named Ashley. She is the most amazing person I've ever met and we've been together for two and a half months now. Which for those of you who don't now.....well that's a really big step from my two week dating roll. I think im in love with her. For all of those skeptics out there...I used to be just like you. But good greatness...theres nothing like this. You know what it is only when you're in it and when your not, you wish you were the whole time. It's going really well. We live together, which is a really big step, but it's better for us than anyone would have expected. And i'm happier than I would have expected.
ok, so now there's school. I am going to Salem State College in Salem Mass. It's so beautiful here. The town of Salem is famous for it's halloween celebration, but for those of us who live here all year round.....it's so beautiful.

love. Its something that so many people want. But how many people actually find it? I mean maybe you think you do for a while....but maybe thats like the matrix. Maybe love is our matrix. Its easy to think its real when your in it, but once your not you don't really get why you did in the first place. Its easy to think your in love. Its easy to be "in love". I don't really know what I'm saying. I'm sorta just babbling. Its just that even though i have a sister who has been with this guy since they were juniors in high school and they took breaks and then had what some would call a fairytale ending....they lived "happily ever after" i keep waiting for the "oops, nope, remember, this doesn't really exist. I mean and i know I'm stealing the line from the movie"how to deal", even though i think they stole it out of my diary first, "why do you think they call it FALLING in love anyway?". i just don't believe in love and until someone can prove me wrong i don't know how I'll ever believe in it. But i don't know how you can prove love even exists.
elle

How many of you have ever connected a place or a song to the way that you were feeling or a point of your life when something big happened to you? How many of you still head that song or go to that place and can still remember the event or person so clearly you would think it was happening all over again? God i have so many of those. So many songs that I've connected to a part of my life or a person that i love or a complete stranger or a place that I've been or want to go so badly it hurts. How many of you have ever gone to a place and when it came time to leave it was like tearing a piece of your soul away? A dear friend of mine once told me that it was possible. It was possible that in another life maybe that you left a piece of your soul places so that in the next life when you went back to them your would feel like that part of you was connected once again to the place it was ripped from. I wonder though how many places you can leave a piece of your soul. I mean do we have a limit? is there some kind of requirement to leave a piece in a certain place? or are the songs just suppose to cover all the experiences and the people that aren't big enough to leave your soul with? There have been places and times where i personally have found myself breaking apart as i leave them. Who gets to decide whats important to me? Do I? Do objects have the same hold on us as people and places? what about times? Like many people may feel like their high school graduation was something to leave a piece of them with you know to tribute to the times and experiences that they had. Or like me.....it's eight grade. The time when my life seemed the simplest and the most complicated.......the year i finally turned into and adult.....the relationships that i had and did or dint keep.......the people that i loved and lost. That was the year i can say that if i had to leave a piece of my soul........well thats it right there. If i had a book........it would be a three way tie between Pride and Prejudice, Twilight and the Truth About Forever. And god knows I've read plenty of books in my life to be able to decipher which ones have the most meaning and emotional impact on me. SO which is it......man woman or she which is our mother? I mean common..........someone has to know....... I have pondered over this thought on numerous occasions...but i will not make your mind up for you....i will wait to hear your thoughts on the subject for it is not for me to decide what you choose to believe......

OH my DEAR GODDESS! Boys are really frustrating. For all those girls and guys out there who know I'm deeply sorry. I truly hate drama i do, but when it comes to this one person, i just cant help being involved. I mean i have been in love with him forever and well, he just hasn't figured out that he loves me too yet. But by golly people, i think we're getting close. He leaves for college in 37 days and well, i don't know if we'll ever see each other again, even though we live about 5 minutes away from each other and we'll probably both be home for Winter break. See what i mean about complicated drama?!? One day all you lovely readers of mine are going to get the complete and total seasonal collection of my life of love and loss with this boy/man and then your going to know exactly what i mean. Anyway, paging all you star-crossed lovers out there......send some good energy out into the universe for me and we'll see how the moon feels about sending some of that energy around . For all you hippy/ new age teens out there.......you're not the only ones lost. I wish i knew what i was doing. 

Your fellow grungy loving, tattoo wanting, hippy freaky, love searcher,

Elle

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!

Alrighty y'all. It's officially the fourth of july!!!! That mean fireworks, barbecues, dances, bonfires, and a lot of fun!! So, why on this special day am i headed out to RI to spend the weekend with my second family? Well duh! they live practically on the beach and we'll i just love it there. 

  NOW, for all of those who didn't think that i couldn't do it.....I GOT A JOB! yea you know you hate me. lol. I'm working for a catering company this summer at a hotel in Farmington, CT. Should get pretty exciting! Cross your fingers. Although lounging around all summer may be something that plenty of people wish they were doing, I unfortunately am not one of those people. I mean don't get me wrong i love to just chill sometimes, but the majority of the time i love to be on the move. That is of course part of my DNA because i grew up in the north on the east coast. Ah well. So since i have his summer job, it looks as though i'll b putting off my visits to both of my sisters, north carolina, which was where the road trip was headed, and of course across the pond. Why do we call it the pond anyway? Was that just to make England feel as though their colonies weren't straying too far from the mother-ship? Because the Atlantic ocean doesn't look anything like any pond i've seen, and i am no longer quite as ignorant of the worlds magnificence. OK, well I'm off for a fun filled weekend at the shore before i start work. Keeping you posted as always!

Elle

GRADUATION!!!!!!

OK, i'm about to graduate in a week!!!! Summer has arrived again, and it's time to let loose, have some fun and get a job.
FUN FACT: 1 out of evey 3 teenagers will not have a job this summer!!!
I guess i better get on that. Anyone else having trouble getting one? How about over seas? Are you guys having any trouble? Maybe it's just america who is having this problem, but when aren't we having any problems?
ANYWAYS, summer has arrived and unfortunately im staying inside good 'ol US of A this time around, but dont you guys across the pond worry, I should be heading you way in december while I'm on a college holiday. Should be SPAIN, so if anyone wants to meet up and hang for a couple weeks your more than wlecome. I mite be bringing my BFF along as well. She's been to paris, and is going to Ireland for a wedding this summer. I hope her pics come out good!
FALL: I guess it's settled that after all the prodding and pushing I still WILL NOT be going to a Connecticut college in the fall, but instead I've traided in my feathers and Indian ways for a Viking helmit. Thats right, I'm going to Salem State College in the Fall, Where I will major in English, Sociology, Amer. Gov. and who knows what else, so that I can become a teacher.
So I say my almost last goodbyes to my fellow NHS'ers and Pack my bags b/c I wont be back for a while. I haven't decided what teh summer plans are this summer exactly, but they basically consist of working, Possibly heading out to minnesota and seattle to visit my two sisters and my brother in law, Shawn Hebrank. You may have heard of his work, but for those who dont know he's a tattoo artist out in minnesota, at a place called Identity Tattoo. Y'all should check out his site and blog: www.shawnhebrank.com He's really very talented. ANYWAYS, Those trips will be followed by a road trip with my bff Kelly Urban.
k, thats it for now, have a great week and i'll tty'all when i get the next chance.
LATAS
elle