Haven't been on this for a while. Things are going pretty awry and getting pretty hectic as the summer is ending. Looks like I'll be doing a year at community college getting all my classes in order so that I can start at CCSU next fall in their Nursing program and ready to start the clinical portion of my education.The apartment thing is kind of at a stand still since my best friend just told me about 2 days ago that she'll be moving to TN in January so that she can claim residency there when she starts at Middle TN state in the Fall 2011 semester. Funny how life tends to throw you curve balls just as you think you're finally going to hit a home run.
Well I can't say I'm exactly thrilled about the way things have turned out at the end of this summer but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't survive. I've survived a lot in two years and consequently things are definitely different in my life. I'm leaving a place that I have had both the privileged and the pain of calling home for the last two years and oddly enough I'll be a little sad to leave it behind. I am glad though to have made the friendships and bonds that I did make and keep. There are a few people here that I think i'll most likely keep in pretty good contact with for probably the rest of my life and who I will most definitely miss when I move back home, but I also believe I'll be up to visit plenty and of course they're ALL welcome to drop by my house...which is where I'll most likely be spending the year. Or at least half of it. Visitors, friends, and family have always been welcome in my home, even strangers. Things are turning up for me though.
I chatted with my mother yesterday, which is unusual as of late because she and I haven't been very close basically since I left for school 2 years ago and dated a girl...who now, oddly enough is a man and one of my very best friends. But seeing as I'll most likely be living under her roof for the next 4 months I figured I might as well start getting on better terms with her. I miss my mom; the way we used to be when I was in High School. I wonder if we can ever get back to the way we were. Probably not, but in all honestly...I think I like that we're both making an effort to get to know things about each other again. That way we don't have to go back to something; instead we can move forward and form something similar and different while still having some kind of mutual kindness and loving between us. Anyways, she said that it sounded nice to her to have me living at home and that I guess she talked to my sister Smace and my beautiful nephew's mother put in a good word for me while also planting the excellent idea in my mother's head that when she and my father retire at the end of this school year and finally move down to the Florida place that instead of selling my childhood home that they rent it to me instead. And by rent it to me I mean that I cover the bills (elect., Heating. and water as well as cable and internet) and they let me have the house to myself or provide me with the option of renting off the rooms (which I'm not sure I would do...but maybe) and that way Whitney would still have a place to come home from college too and so would my other sister's when they came to visit as well as when and IF my parents flew in for the holidays. This also provides them with someone to watch over and keep the house looking nice while they are away and gives them a few more years or whatever for the market to get better before they sell the house. (who's Meredith Grey again?) So, I guess we'll see.
Right now all focus is on placement testing, class schedule forming, car finding and of course Dress shopping ( for Smace's second wedding ;)
Looking forward to the fall and all the stress that comes along with it. As well as some actual family bonding time. I have missed weekend trips to the farm, horse back riding through the vast amount of land that has provided my family with a well known name in some parts of Connecticut, Grandma's church on Sunday's with a grandma only cooked lunch right after and just seeing my family and learning about their lives. I need to be home again and be around my people. There just aren't enough of MY people here in MA. I'm ready to feel completely whole again, and I know it takes time and there will always be scars, but I know going home will cause them to fade more than anywhere else...and then when I'm done I can move on to a new home.
I'm happy. Be happy for me. I will always love you...but it's time for me to go now. Please don't forget me...and visit often just as I will do the same, for I will miss the promise in your face.Love forever and always.
