I don't want to be here anymore.

I literally HATE being yelled at; by anyone....which is generally why I don;t yell at people unless i can;t hold it back anymore. I'm tired of being yelled at here, tired of defending who I am and why I am this way. He hit me and if fucking hurt. That's all you need to know. So why is it that you're calling me a baby telling me I can't handle pain and telling me that I need to stick up for myself and that no one needs to defend me to get him to stop. Why can't you just be protective of me? Why can't you just understand that no matter how much it seems like nothing to you and to everyone else it was something to me. Don't call me embarrassing because I have a reaction to the way you deal with things, you may not like my reaction, but I didn't like yours either...or perhaps your LACK of reaction. Instead I am the one who's messed up, I'm the one who made a scene and I'm the one who's blowing this way out of proportion. Next time I'll slap him, and see if that gets a reaction out of any of you. Because the thing is, is that I'm SURE it will. Because him hitting me and biting Steph and punching you is something that we all seem to just take in around here. Well, I don't let men hit me. I already have an anger problem and it takes literally everything I have not to punch him every time he does something to me....but I can;t take it anymore. I'm tired of him not knowing his own strength and just thinking he can push me and slap me and punch me...becuase I BRUISE. I bruise and I look like my boyfriend fucking beats me and he doesn't. I'm tired of people yelling at me becuase I'm the only one who has a serious problem with the way he touches me. I'm not going to appoligize for making a scene and I'm not going to appoligize becuase I thought maybe...just maybe I finally found a guy who could control himself NOT to beat the living shit out of any guy who laid his hands on me, but who could at least TALK to the guy and tell him to cut it out and that he couldn't touch your woman like that. I mean shit...my brothers would have gladly jumped at the chance to defend me and my body and the way a man touches me. Sean or Derek would have laid him out flat, Shawn would have told him if he ever did taht again he would make sure is ass was in jail, and Ardeshir would have told him to grow the fuck up and learn his own strength and realize that you should NEVER touch a woman like that....but you...all of you just sat here and blamed me and called me a baby. Well fuck you. I want my brothers. I want the men who will defend my honor and my woman hood and my body against any man who even thought twice about touching me like he does on a regular basis. So , I want to go home. I'm done being teamed against and being told I'm a baby and I'm embarassing and I'm annoying and whatever else you have to say becuase all of you need a dumping ground and my self esteem gets it...Like I wasn't enough of a dumping ground this last year. Thanks a bunch for being the friends I always dreamt of having.