I'm sitting here and all I can think of is how much just miss being little. Everything was so easy when we were young. I miss the way I used to look at the older kids and watch as they lived their lives. I thought they were so fabulous with their leather jackets, freedom to roam the globe, no crap attitude, and ability to fall in love so easily with no fears. I couldn't wait to be one of them, so that I could be one of them and have all the little kids look at me in the same way. I feel like I haven't lived up to the person I sent my sights on being. Like I haven't been the older sister that I should have, the daughter that my parents raised or the best friend I've always prided myself on being. But, I know that I'm finally getting there. I feel proud of the person I'm moving towards. I know that someday I'm going to see the world, have a no crap attitude and be madly in love again. It's all in fate and I am a patient person even though I wasn't as a child. I know what I deserve and I know what I want. Someday I know I'm going to have it all and I'll finally be the person I always dreamed I would be. I know I say it weirds me out when you say that I'm momish but at the same time I'm proud because someday I'm going to be a mom and I know I'm going to be a good one because I may not be perfect, but I want to see other people succeed, and find happiness and have the life that I had the privilege of having, with parents and a family that are so accepting and loving. I know I can be that so thank you for helping me to see that I'm on my way to who I want to be. Fate is the only thing that makes any sense to me. Everything will all work out the way it's supposed to, and eventually we can all find something to be happy about. Fate works in mysterious ways but I trust that I know a little bit about how it might end and I know it'll all be okay someday. Someday it will all make sense. Just try to have a little faith. Babbling again.
LOVE and good luck in your own futures. Peace and Love to all even to those who don't think they are undeserving. We all deserve to feel loved.
matt wertz- carolina
