I'd really like to know something, and if you have an answer I'd really be willing to hear it. WHY does it seem to be that people...not everyone, but some people once you tell the that you have been in an abusive relationship in your past...what is it that makes them think that t is okay to verbally, emotionally, physically, or whatever kind, abuse you yet again?Tell me: did you think I would be MORE willing to put up with it from you? Did you think that because I had done it before and I had pushed through and made myself only stronger that it was okay to test my boundaries now? Or did you think that maybe because you were a friend and not a lover that it was different?
Well let me tell you something: it's not. I will not put up with it from you and you may be one of my best friends but the way you regularly put me down, make me feel like a shitty person and friend and treat me is not going to last long. Growing stronger from being abused before means that my patience has run extremely short with people who feel as though they can push me around. You and NOT my mother, my lover, or me....so I owe you no explanations as to what I do all weekend. I also do not owe you a text as soon as I step onto campus...and if I do not answer your texts because I am sleeping or better yet if I DID NOT GET THEM you have no right to make me feel as though that it something that I should have done. It is a NICE thing for me to do to text you when I get to campus but I OWE you nothing.
I also do not NEED you nor have I ever NEEDED you. So please next time you want to get angry with me and say hurtful things at least say things that are true. Yes I enjoy your company and yes I enjoy having you around and being able to lean on you as a friend but I do not need you because of it. The way you have been acting lately shows me I do not need it more than ever...and half the time I don't want to be anywhere near you. You lean on me and I lean on you...that is called a friendship...but it does not mean that I need you, and it certainly doesn't mean that you can treat me the way you do. There are very few people that I need in my life and you are not one of them.
Look I know you said that this is who you are and I could take it or leave it because you weren't changing and that's fine because by the looks of it I'll be leaving it no problem. I know all about pushing people away so hard they never want to talk to you again. I know that words can sometimes cut deeper than any kind of weapon that you can get and they leave more lasting and harmful scaring. You want people to always pull when you push but I'm not like that. I have changed and there is now a limit of how much I can let you push till I'm gone. I stick around and through a lot more than most people and I have lot through a lot of you saying really hurtful things to me over the last 8 months...but you ARE going to change that or you ARE going to lose me. It's that simple. If my best friend was doing the same thing you are I would be telling her the same thing, but she's not. She knows better than to push my limits and to verbally abuse me the way you do.
So take you're time, because YOU are the one who said "FUCK YOU." last night, not me. You are the one who called me a baby yet again. but the difference is you are the weak one, because I never put you down last night even when that was all you were doing to me. I've grown and you, you've stayed the same. You will keep finding yourself losing friends if you keep this up..so many it is time to make a change. Just saying, you're walking a really thin line right now. How could you possibly think that this was okay?
