I slept with him that summer you cheated on me. I slept in the same bed as him down at the beach for all of the nights I was there. And I was drunk and he was cute and warm and I knew he liked me. And I liked him to; As more than just a friend. He tried to kiss me a couple of the nights while he was holding me. I let him hold me because I was lonely and he was warm. He held me because he loved me and he wanted me to let him. I was more lonely in that bed with him those nights than I have ever felt in my life. I knew deep somewhere in my gut that I wasn't going to be able to feel this warmth anymore when I got back to Salem. I playfully beat off his soft lips each time though because I didn't want to start things with him like that if we were ever going to be together. I didn't want my first kiss with him to be tainted with you. And so I never cheated on you. I never let him do anything but hug me and hold me while we slept together all of those nights.
And it was worth it. It was worth it to get cheated on by you. It was worth it to suffer like I did for the last year because of you. Because last night when he kissed me for the first time I didn't have you in the back of my head. I didn't have the shattering of your heart or the look on your face when I would have had to tell you or the tears you would cry from the pain in the back of my mind. All I had was his lips and mine in that moment and his warmth holding me close. It was worth not cheating on you two summers ago so that this moment with him wouldn't be tarnished with you; So that my beginning and our ending wouldn't be tied together. I am so incredibly warm now, laying next to him as I type this out. He's asleep next to me in the most beautiful slumber; so calm and gentle. He loves me, and I'm slowly finding that I love him back.
