"You're only 18 years old. You don't know what love is yet."
I was told that over and over that year. I remember is so clearly now, the way betrayal felt; As if someone deliberately reached out and smacked me across the face. I remember love in it's darkest hour... or so I thought at the time. It was grueling, almost as if it were a right of passage, yet something I would never wish upon anyone, let alone you. You who is so young and naive to the mistakes and misfortunes of love.
"you watch too many movies." Is what I'll say to you.
Not to scare you away from thinking "happily ever after" exists, it's just an eye opener into what it means. This achievement is just that, an ACHIEVEMENT. It's not something that is easily gotten. You have to work for it and with it. Almost coax it out of it's rough exterior shell, and seen once you've gotten it out, it doesn't mean that will stay out forever. It's a life long process of running to and fro, and that's what you sign up for in marriage. You sign up for the chasing while the other one runs. You sign up to be the one chased if you run. You sign up for good, bad , horrible and amazing moments that you will share with plenty of others, but it is you who signed up for the keeper of those memories. So marriage is the one thing besides a true and lasting friendship that you have to work hardest for in this life and the two things that are most important.
So you... you deserve this. You deserve someone who is ready to sign up for this no matter how long or how far it takes you. You deserve to have them willingly and enthusiastically sign up for it WITH YOU. You don;t deserve to be the only one signed on. The only one keeping the memories and the only one doing any of the work. I'm not sorry to say this because I've said it all along and I;ll say it again until you finally understand and then I'll hold you as you cry... but He doesn't deserve you. You're so young to be this sad about this.
I love you. Stay strong love child because you are the bringer of my joy.
