I seem to do this a lot...

thanking you that is. I thank you for showing me the good in my life and in love and in so many other things. Today was a rough day. I had a lot of stressful things going on with a lot of different aspects of my life, but the one thing that really held strong was you. I am a strong person and you know that, but what I appreciate even more than that acceptance is the fact that you also know without me even having to say it, that I really need to lean on you; that I really need to know you care about me even when I seem to be completely floating outside of my body. And you have followed through every time so far without even the slightest hit of weakness. It's like you can read my mind and you just know the exact right thing to say to me to make me feel better. You know you can't completely make everything go away, but hmm just the feel of being wrapped in your arms and listening to stories of stuff that happened with your patients on your shift just calms me down and makes me feel so safe and taken care of. So thank you for just being you. I honestly could not have asked for anything more. We aren't perfect, and we definitely have major things that we think so differently on, but the fact that we can respect each other and love on another's flaws and compensate for the weaknesses just makes me feel that much more safe in your hands. You're energy and beauty is contagious and I just love you so much. I'm glad I have you to love. Being with you is the good life.

Love,

Sweetpea

There's this crazy thing.....

called letting people you care about, KNOW that you actually care about them. And you my dear....SUCK at it.

It's not this incredibly hard task. Basically it entails ACTUALLY telling people you care about them. It's sort of easy when you think about it. You just open up your mouth, or your phone or drive your ass somewhere to tell the person or people that you care very much about that you do in fact care very much about and for them.

It does not require you:

-buying obnoxiously corny gifts

-crawling up their ass to build a home

-getting mad at them for hanging out with people other than yourself

-throwing temper tantrums

-crying about not spending enough time with them

-texting them until they respond with "leave me alone"

-or any other stupid shit people do to "show" they care

IT DOES require you to:

-smile a lot when you are around them

-give them hugs and kisses when appropriate (and even when it's not)

-do spontaneous things for or with them

-sometimes send a good morning text

-sometimes just randomly let them know you are glad they are in your life

-respond to their texts with something other than one word answers

oh yea....AND SAYING YOU CARE IN SOME WAY SHAPE OR FORM!!!!!

SO why is this so difficult for you? Why are you so NOT capable or expressing that you care for someone, possibly very deeply? Instead you hide away and don't answer texts and basically avoid all conversation if at all possible because you clearly have a fear of abandonment. Wanna know a secret?

WE ALL DO.

Not one single person I actually know is NOT afraid of being lonely. Of being totally and utterly abandoned. But the thing is, is that we cause ourselves to be abandoned by not allowing our hearts and minds and bodies to let people in and feel that love, or even that caring.

SO ya know what? STOP ignoring the texts and let the people or person you are also having those feelings for KNOW that you feel that way. Or else they're just going to move on and you're going to be hurt and lonely because of you. It's sad but it's true.

TELL PEOPLE YOU FUCKING CARE!!!!!