What love is like for someone I love

In a city of thousands he walked into the your coffee shop.

first night, in her arms

she kissed me awake

butterfly kisses dancing skin

nothing more at stake

i don’t know what to do

is the purest of possibilities

clean slate, for the heart, of the heart

i don’t know what to undo

all this fire, all this aglow

i don’t know what is true

only, that she is

in bloom

His words inspire me to go out and find what he has. What she now has. They are both so lucky to have found someone who makes them feel this way. I'm losing my bearings and I'm becoming a ball of mushy feelings. Love must feel like that. I'm jealous that he can make that mush and turn it into something that makes me cry to read. That's something that a lot of people struggle with. It's easy to explain pain. You can tell doctors where it is, explain how much there is on a scale and get it fixed. But love....you can't give a specific location, explain how much or how quickly it spreads and there's never a scale big enough to encompass the amount of love you feel. That's part of what makes it so special. You can't explain it very well, but you know it's there and you can always feel it, and it's always easy to give away...because you can always make more.

Let me hold your crown, babe

I hate to break it to you babe,
but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Sometimes I forget that I left. That I finished with this. That I already gave up hope, and waiting and wishing. Sometimes I simply forget and revert back to old ways because I became so accustom to waiting around for things to just work themselves out; waiting to have my sister's fairytale for myself. But I remember now. I stopped waiting. I'm making my own fairytale now.

A beautiful wedding

I am not a sap. But this weekend I watched my sister Casey (smace) who is just older than myself get married on a Mississippi River boat. Actually, her and her husband (Ardeshir) renewed their vows in front of both of their entire families (myself included) and friends and their son Sia (my nephew born in July this summer) and I cried. I don't mean that I bawled my eyes out or anything, but I was literally happy crying for them. I am incredibly happy for my sister and Ardeshir. It's so visible on both of their faces and in the way they treat and act around each other how amazingly in love they are, and how happy they are to have found one another.

(they had superhero references in their renewal vows; I think Ardeshir is going to make a wonderful addition to our family full of dorks, as well as have a family of his own little dorks <3)

I did not cry at my sister Meryl and her husband of almost 5 years, Shawn's wedding, but this weekend I also looked at them as Meryl who was the maid of honor, made her wedding speech and found that yet again I had tears in my eyes at the looks and acts of love that they shared in those moments as well as throughout the entire weekend.

So, I say yet again that I am not a sap...usually, but it seems that the ice has been broken around this heart and I am able to feel those intense and girlish emotions yet again. I'm next to get married out of my sisters (if we continue the birth order that is) yet I feel no rush to get married. I just hope that I may also find in someone the love and kindness and compassion that I was able to see in these couples for one another.

Casey and Ardeshir, may your marriage have much love, compassion, patience, kindness and excitement. May your days together be filled with the joy of finally finding someone who completely understands and appreciates you for exactly who you are. May the hardships be short and the blessings be many.

All my love and best wishes,

Lindsay Rose

CONGRATULATIONS, and welcome into the family officially <3>

New everything

Well...not everything is NEW...but My hair is new. My room is a new color of vibrant blue and I am new. I'm a harder working individual. (maybe I don't necessarily have a real job just yet) but I work hard in my classes, I work hard outside of my classes, I exercise regularly, I don't go out too much but when I do it's always a good time and I'm finally just deleting people out of my life who bring me down. I'm a new Lindsay and for the first time in some time I'm really proud of who I am, the way I act, the people I let stay in my life and of who I am working towards being. I'm a stronger, newer, more confident woman and I feel pretty damn good about that.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Go be your own light. =)

p.s. thought you might enjoy this...since you're one of the only people who actually reads this thing...maybe you'll actually comment. lol

If only in my dreams

THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE!!! I don't know if you personally picked every single one of these songs out or if you just put every one from the album on here...but I can't do this. I can't listen to this music. I made it through about 6 songs before I had tears just uncontrollably streaming down my face. I can;t handle this. I thought maybe I was gonna be able to do this. To listen to this type of stuff again..but music and I aren't exactly friends these days. We haven't been for quite some time.
I mean do you believe in signs? I sure do. But I wonder what it would be like to follow EVERY sign we thought we saw. I wonder if our lives would turn out the same way or if we are missing things or if we are just meant to not follow signs. I wonder so many things about signs...it sometimes gives me a headache. But I guess I just wonder.

I also love a lot. I've been told I love too much, too easily and too often...but how are we ever supposed to appreciate the love we do finally end up with if we don;t get out heart broken a few or multiple times along the way? UGHHHH I just wanna find it. I'm TIRED of waiting for him or her. I just wanna be happy and LOVED!!! Is that too much to ask for? maybe.