Isn't this the best Part of breaking up, finding some else you can't get enough of....Liz Phar needs to drop off. Seriously. She obviously doesn't get it. There is no best part..there's no good part...there"s only wonder. Why couldn't you do it? What if you don't want to find someone else you cant get enough of? What if there never is anyone else? How can someone ask you what you would do if you just kept loving someone and they never came back...what if you never can pick up those pieces...because half of the pieces are gone? How can you ask someone what they would do? What the fuck would you do? Would you be able to just walk away...walk right the fuck out of there and never look back and go find something new? If you're answer to this question is yes, or you would try...don't even bother talking to me, because we will never be able to see eye to eye on love. You just can;t possible wrap your head around the way I feel ever. Because there are very few people on this giant size planet that understand what I feel like truly, no B.S. You could never understand. you just can't. and That"s okay. I don't need you to. Because I get it and I don't need to see some stupid fucking therapist to make me understand how I feel or what to do with my life. You need me to do that because YOU don't understand...So why dont YOU go to teh fucking therapist and leave me alone for once in my life. I'm done wanting to die...I'm just not sure how to live yet....but I don't need someone to tell me how to either. So just leave me alone and let me figure me out. It may take some time, but I don't remember anyone telling you you had a time limit to figure you out. Sometimes I just need the time. And I don't need the help. and sometimes I need the help, but unlike you i'm not afraid to ask. So how dare you force me to do this. You don't even know me anymore. I'm not even sure if you ever did.

Leaving after the holiday week(end) and I feel so much better. I needed this so bad. Time with my friends who I've had since elementary school. Time with my family. And time with my best friend. This sort of simplicity amazes me and makes me feel so warm it practically burns away the frigid ice forming over my heart up in MA. I love it here... even when I'm fighting with them and crying with them... this place will never be anything to me but home. A place where I and so many others are ALWAYS loved. I love it here so much... I'm really not ready to leave just yet. Even if it's only for 2.5 weeks. I almost Don't want to ever go back. But, I know in the end.. everything is going to be okay. Thank you for showing me a world of love and happiness an compassion while I grew up. Sometimes i forget now that it exists in the first place, but then I come home and I bring others home and you show me and them how warm people can be even in the coldest weather outside.

I have written about this before but it's also totally new. It's about places that hold memories. Places that hold feelings. Places that hold doubt and stress; hope and loss, death and life. These places are bound to me in inexplicable ways yet, I wonder is it possible to ever let those places go? Maybe not the ones that hold your own memories, but perhaps feelings that you associate with those places. I go by this place at least once a week, and at first it was a place of beauty. A place that held secrets from the world, and kept it deep within its shadowed stone, but now it is associated with something cruel and loveless. It is loss that I have come to associate this place with, betrayal and distrust. But lately as I pass this place all I feel is the emptiness it holds. All that I know of this place is dissolving away as the winter cold washes over all of the secrets and carries them back out into the world where they can be shared with someone more in need of them and where I no longer have to feel the emotions that it hides. This is why I wonder if places although holders of memories, have the ability to release the feelings associated them...because if they do, I wonder if stone can release all that it holds onto, If I can do the same.