Time to believe in the things we don't understand

THIS does not happen a lot. I mean well I get them and she get's them but for us to BOTH be having this huge gut feeling....well it means something is in store. Something Big is in store. I can feel is deep in the pit of my gut and so can she and well...for that to happen, for us BOTH to be having these feeling in the pit of our guts so strong that they almost hurt...well it means it's big, It's coming fast and that it's going to rattle the shit out of some people's worlds. By mean this doesn't happen a lot I mean that it's probably happened about 5 times in our whole lives. This would be 6. Six is an even number...it also means Enlightenment. Or more specifically a light. Lighting a path to spiritual and mental balances. It also beckons us to use compassion and to Consciously choose forgiveness in a situation. I TOLD you we were old souls. It's like not only can I feel it in my gut, but I feel it in my bones, in my mind, in my soul. Time to believe in the human race.

I don't really think that it was your intention to have me sitting here thinking about your body rather than mine. I don't really thing you meant for your words to bounce right off of me and to sting you. I mean honestly? a WALRUS. That was the best thing you could come up with? a WALRUS. wow. I thought you were more creative than that...god knows josh is. But what's even more funny to me is that you wouldn't even dare say that to my actual face. That you don't even have the ability to call me to my face FAT. It's so funny. I mean honestly...I don't think you mean to call me FAT, I'm sure you can think of much more creative things to call me that don't cause you to actually have to make things up. I mean....wow..I'm just so unimpressed. Your lack of imagination makes me wonder if you are actually as grand as you believe yourself to be. I mean CLEARLY you aren't...at least not to the general public...but to a small amount of people you obviously mean something. Right? I just don't get it, and I probably never will.

But the sad thing is, is that at one point in my life I would have actually taken what you said to heart, but today, just like every day for the last well....while, you are nothing to me. You have nothing on me. You cannot say ANYTHING that could possibly hurt me more than I have hurt myself and to be in this apartment and watch you attempt to even come close to the way I can make MYSELF feel, well that's just absolutely amusing. Let me tell you something...I am not FAT, nor have I ever been FAT in my life, and for you to stand or sit or whatever and say that to my back or my side or anywhere BUT my FACE makes you a coward, and I feel incredibly sorry for you.

I'm sure you are in your own way an almost halfway decent human being, but the way you choose to express yourself is childish and quite frankly a little bit confusing. I hope for your sake as well as everyone else involved with you that you do someday realize the errors in your ways, but by then I will be long gone and nowhere near capable of hearing your apology.

So I forgive you now. I forgive you for being so hateful and spiteful; for trying to make me feel bad about myself for being who I am; for thinking you could make me question who I am in any way, shape or form; and for treating me in a manner that no one should ever have to be treated in their life, and for trying to use my own past self doubts to hurt me. I forgive you, because I am a stronger person than you. I am not better than you but I do treat people better than you. I love myself more than you like yourself. I will go places that you will not go and experience things that you will not, but for that I am not sorry. I forgive you because everyone deserves forgiveness even when sometimes even they can't forgive themselves.

Second chances don't come around often so please when given them use them wisely, but I wish you the very best of luck in your future and I truly do love you, but no matter what you say, or do or whatever to me, I will always remain me, so please I'm asking you to stop wasting your time because it's sad, and it only causes me to feel sorry for you which is something I'd really rather not be doing with my time.

Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time.