Please don't leave me for so long next time

She waits for me. Almost as if it stays away just until I need her, till I need a change or a new outlook on the world...and the she comes just when I'm starting to feel like I'm going to die from withdrawal. She comes showering down in me and my world and gives me something beautiful to see in it again. I have been needing this for a very long time. The last week has been a tease and it didn't come anywhere near refilling the puddles in my soul that dry up and crack when she's not here. She's a part of me and only those who love and appreciate all of her challenges, and eloquences the way I have come to can truly get an almost high off of her presence in their lives. She brings with her a different kind of comeliness and homage than her brother. So I am going to enjoy my time with her here again by having a lazy day of studying all of the bones and their features for my exam on Thursday and enjoying her smell and touch on my soul throughout the day. Her love has never failed me, and for that I will never have to stop loving her.

What love is like for someone I love

In a city of thousands he walked into the your coffee shop.

first night, in her arms

she kissed me awake

butterfly kisses dancing skin

nothing more at stake

i don’t know what to do

is the purest of possibilities

clean slate, for the heart, of the heart

i don’t know what to undo

all this fire, all this aglow

i don’t know what is true

only, that she is

in bloom

His words inspire me to go out and find what he has. What she now has. They are both so lucky to have found someone who makes them feel this way. I'm losing my bearings and I'm becoming a ball of mushy feelings. Love must feel like that. I'm jealous that he can make that mush and turn it into something that makes me cry to read. That's something that a lot of people struggle with. It's easy to explain pain. You can tell doctors where it is, explain how much there is on a scale and get it fixed. But love....you can't give a specific location, explain how much or how quickly it spreads and there's never a scale big enough to encompass the amount of love you feel. That's part of what makes it so special. You can't explain it very well, but you know it's there and you can always feel it, and it's always easy to give away...because you can always make more.

Let me hold your crown, babe

I hate to break it to you babe,
but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Sometimes I forget that I left. That I finished with this. That I already gave up hope, and waiting and wishing. Sometimes I simply forget and revert back to old ways because I became so accustom to waiting around for things to just work themselves out; waiting to have my sister's fairytale for myself. But I remember now. I stopped waiting. I'm making my own fairytale now.