Till the world goes black

okay, here it goes. I watch one tree hill not only because I love the show, but because the music on it always seems to be able to relate to my life in some way. but for once, I thought one thing when looking up this song and all I ended up doing when I read the lyrics was cry. I just sat here and cried because all I could think of was you. This is probably crazy and it scared the shit out of me...you know my biggest fear is the future, but this well this song is my new anthem. This song is the song that gives me hope. It's the song that was my sign. The sign. The one that I have been waiting for to help me understand, to help me get through this, because I couldn't understand. What I keep forgetting about this all is that its not about me. Its about you. That's the whole point of this and this is why this song is really for you. I love you. Till the world goes black.

Elle


Jack Savoretti- Wonder
tell my stories to the ones i love
hide my fears from those who don't
i've been tryin' to change my ways for days
you keep sayin' that i won't
old songs on a late night
there's just too much on my mind
my love is a true love, but my hearts as cold as ice

you like what you see when you're looking at me
cause you think that i do what i i do for you.
don't you wonder why
the word that i breath is the word that i need
and the song that i sing don't mean anything
don't you wonder why it's always been this way

all our innocence is gone
if you like i'll take the blame for all the things that you have done
my songs on a cold night, i can't get you out my mind
your love is a true love, but you'll never on my side

you like what you see when you're looking at me
cause you think that i do what i do for you.
don't you wonder why
the word that i breath is the word that i need
and the songs that i sing don't mean anything
don't you wonder why? why


old songs on a late night, there's just too much on my mind
my love, is a young love but i know we'll get this right

It should have been common knowledge

for you to know that you don't talk about one of us without someone else finding out and letting one of us know. This should have already been common knowledge to you, but here;s the thing. I'm going to warn you now and then when it happens again, because you're a stupid freshman, so it will, I'm going to chew you out like you've never known in your life. You do not talk about any one of the four of us. We may not be obnoxious about our stature, but we know who we are, just like you know who we are. So whether you aknowledge it or not, you are still going to respect it like everyone else because if you don't, which you currently aren't, this is going to be a very rough start for you. Whether we want to or not, between the four of us, we know everything. We know all the gossip, all the news and all of the big shit that's going on. So you better damn believe that the second you open your mouth about one of us in either a negative or positive manner we're going to hear about it pretty much within the very next sentence. So do not think it will not get to us, because it will. You DO NOT talk smack about my friends without consequences. It doesn't work like that. You are just some dumb little girl who thinks its teh cool thing to get high and drunk and pop pills. Well, I've got a little news for you. It's not cool. It's pathetic and you should probably see someone about it if you think that it's a cool thing to potentially kill yourself every night. There was no way she was going to date someone like that. She's better than you. So don't you go around saying that she is crazy to think that you would cheat on your girlfriend for her because if she ever even gave the slightest thought towards you, um..which she didn't, there isn't even the slightest blink of hope for you now. Let this be your first and only warning: We're not people to mess with, so don't.

Happy fuck-ups =)

It is so strange the way different people can make you feel and breathe and love and see. It amazes me everyday the way my friends survive, the way they show love and the way that they show their strengths to the world. There is something that I hide from everyone but you. I don't know why you get to see it and others not. Maybe it's because it's so sacred to me and so beautiful. You see me. You see my flaws and my strengths. You get to see my soul like no one else ever will. i don't know how to tell you this because for once I don't fear the power you have. I know that no matter what you may think or be going through, somewhere there is a part of you that you let me see even when you hide it from the world. I see it, I see you. I love my friends and I love people, even massholes and all the evil people in the world, because everyone deserves someone to love them and for me, that's you. I don't really know why. I don't really know what I did to deserve it, but you're here and I'm never letting you go. You're not here all the way yet, but someday you'll let me see all of you too and I can wait for that day, because I waited long enough to find you in the first place. I can wait just a little more. you make me really happy to know you. Thank you for being my friend. I love you.

I cannot believe that you are still doing it.

I just want to know

What I really want to know...is how exactly you could sit there and take all those pictures where we are so happy and in love and think that it was still okay to come in and ruin it. How could you do that to someone who thought of you as a friend? Who still treats you like a friend even after all of the shit you have done. I just don't understand how you could see how happy we were and still just step in and fucking ruin it. I feel like there is something I am missing...because there is just no way that someone could actually fucking do that....I just....no...there is no way you could be that cruel...that fucked up...that evil.

I understand now. I understand now that we left. No, not only did we leave but we left you behind, after we broke you. So you had to pick up the pieces and but in picking up the broken pieces and learning how to put them back together you put them together wrong. The reason you put them together wrong was because your three best friends left you alone to put yourself back together instead of helping you glue those pieces back together for good. We all made a lot of mistakes last year. Things happened and shit most definitely hit the fan. But instead of trusting each other and ourselves as a whole, we fought each of our battles individually and lost each and every one. I understand now that you are put together wrong you never put your heart back in at all. You figured if it was never put back in, it could never trust again, therefore you would never have the fear of getting it broken again. I am so much more than sorry that you felt like we weren't there for you. Like you couldn't call to us. Because the truth is, is that we were all always there. Mad or not, had you called for us each of us would have been at your side within moments of your call. Laura, you are not the only person who fell apart and needs a proper putting back together. EACH and ALL of us has hit our breaking point and its DAMN GOOD that we have found each other again. It is extremely important that we learn to trust and love one another wholly for without each other we are nothing but wandering souls searching for something we are too stubborn and to scared to let happen. I love each and every one of you in so many different ways and forms and with different eyes that I can see no one else but the three of you and Kelly as my friends till the world fucking ends. It was no lie when I said I would be here for each of you until I died. I may not have physically been there at every time of need, and I can't promise I will be, but please do remember that you are still the people that I will kill and die for. That is something that will NEVER change, no matter what mistakes anyone of us makes. So I am sorry for the lost that you have endured, because loosing ones self is harder to loose and an ever harder thing to get back in this world than anything else. Lucky for you, you have three best friends ready and willing to help you at pretty much all costs as I believe each of us has individually proven 0ver time. So you may not trust us exactly 100% but there will come a time when we may all be full and whole and together again and we will be different people, but because I know us and I believe in us and who each of us is, I have no fear and no doubt as to what our futures hold. Because every single future I see has the four of us in it. Together. Friends. Happy. Forever.

Love,

Elle

I do blame you. I do hate you. I just thought you should know.

Elle

I am SO TIRED of waiting around for people to finally realize what is right in front of them. You all are fucking stupid. Just stop, dont think and fucking do it...please. I am telling you to fucking take her away. Just take her. She wants you too. So don't be fucking dumb ass and please just for once do what I'm actually asking. I can't take the waiting. No one friggin can, so just do what we all know is coming, get it over with and do the next natural thing that we ALSO all know is coming. JUST PLEASE. Take he the fuck outta my life. There's no place for her here anymore, and just GIVE ME MY FUCKING FRIEND BACK.

"No good deed goes unpunished." - if only you actually understood the significance of that quote.

Elle