21 years...might be ending soon

I cant do this anymore. I can't sit and listen to this anymore. I'm tired of hearing about it, I'm tired of talking about it, I'm tired of listening to you ponder over what you should do when you should have known the right answer so long ago. So WHY the FUCK do you think that talking to him is going to make things better? This has been going on for um lets see.....I'm pretty sure we're rounding on about 4 years now. This is starting to get pathetic...and I'm not just talking about him anymore, I'm talking about you now too. You who are supposed to be this strong person of high moral mindset. You who is supposed to be my BEST FRIEND, is now the person for the life of herself can't decide when to let go. Who lets herself be constantly dragged back and down by this man who DIDN'T CHOOSE YOU when the time came to choose. I don't understand and I fear I never will, because that fear is what makes me willing to stop listening to every excuse you have for a while.

I sat by while you chatted up the ego of a married man. I sat by while you slept with someone else's husband and tried to convince yourself and everyone else it was okay to do because things started with you guys before he was married...here's the thing best friend....when he got married to someone who was NOT YOU it should have ended there. But it didn't. I continued to sit by while you told him to leave his wife for you and I would have defended you even after his WIFE found out about you and him.

I have sat and listened to you pine over him for YEARS. I also watched him treat you like shit and comforted you while you cried over him. I watched him turn his back on you numerous times, most of the time right after he told you he would always be here for you if you ever needed anything. But when you really needed something, he was nowhere to be found. And I watched him choose his WIFE over YOU when it really came down to it. So WHY is it so easy for you to let him back in? And WHY do you think that I even as your best friend would like to sit and listen to you actually debate about letting HIM back into your life?

So, no. I'm done with this. I won't sit and listen to you talk about him anymore. You can find someone else to talk to about this because as far as I am concerned DEREK DIED a long time ago and you're just holding on to a ghost. This person is repulsing, and cruel, uncaring and incapable of showing or giving true love. and you of all people deserve that more than anyone I know, But I can't force you to see that. I can't force you to keep him out of your life. I can't force you to understand that you deserve and can do so much better if you actually took a look around. I can't force you to see that he is someone who will suck away everything you have and never return what you need to survive. I HATE him...and I have NEVER hated someone in my life. I have also never done this before but I'm exercising MY ability as a BEST FRIEND. I can't sit by and watch you do this all over again. I'm sorry. I hate watching you hurt yourself...because only you can make this stop now.